Have you ever been told to calm down and not understood why? You think your emotions are in check and your words are not inflammatory, yet you’re being urged to relax.

What Am I Missing?

Your colleague is reacting to your emotional state via your non-verbal cues; which if not aligned with your message will always limit your ability to communicate and lead.

You may be saying you like the business proposal, but your body language is saying you’re going to kill the deal.
Your words may be saying you want to support your team, but your tone may be condescending and no one is taking you seriously resulting in an under preforming team that won’t make their numbers…again.

Look Inward

The next time you’re in a meeting, ask yourself:

• How are you responding to tough questions?
• Is the tone of your voice rising when your statements are challenged?
• Are you cutting people off or letting them fully explain their position?
• What is your body language conveying?
• Are you facing the person you’re responding to?
• Are you avoiding their gaze or directly engaging with them?
• Are you smiling, frowning or scowling?

By becoming more aware of your non-verbal cues, you’ll develop an understanding of how you may be affecting the room. These ‘tells’ are communicating a message more strongly than your slide deck.

Then, Look Deeper

• What is your breathing pattern? Quick and shallow or full, deep, relaxed breaths?
• Is your stomach in knots? Any butterflies fluttering around in your abdomen?
• Can you hear your pulse in your ears, is your heart beating faster?
• Are you constantly wiping your sweaty palms?

These symptoms indicate you’re experiencing an adrenaline dump which occurs when you feel threatened.

Your body releases adrenaline and cortisol as by-products of the fight or flight syndrome. The good news is your body is actually turbo charged for action.

One of your most powerful weapons to control and manage this state is self-awareness. As you become aware of the symptoms of fear you need to acknowledge them and understand them as signs of your preparedness.

This awareness and knowledge will enable you to manage your state and convey the message you need to communicate.